The Real Reason We Got Bombed By Israel

4 Nov

Generally speaking, sweeping generalizations are not entirely true. However, I’m going to make one giant sweeping generalization about the root cause of all, yes all, of Sudan’s problems, and it’s entirely true, trust me. Ladies & gentlemen, the cause of all our woes is: compulsive hoarding. Which is afranji/infedili for: karoar كرور

Allow me to explain how I’ve gradually and over the years reached this eureka moment. During every visit to Sudan, I noticed that people complain about dust or alkatta7a. Most people in Sudan are coated with a thin membrane of dust that gives them a matte finish (by the way, the matte finish is very trendy these days, for cars though not for people.) Inside of houses, the dust problem is compounded as you can clearly see the dust of today, yesterday, and yesteryear congregating over furniture and lurking in every corner of Sudanese homes, no matter how clean. Gradually, I started noticing that dust is collecting over a massive heap of stuff. Every house has a massive heap of stuff with dust. Useless stuff, but year after year, when I make the ziyarat rounds, I notice the same heaps in the same houses collecting the same dust.

It baffles me that everywhere in Sudan there’s pile of… something. Tops of wardrobes in bedrooms are stacked with suitcases stacked with items probably circa British colonialism (AKA  your mother’s mini-skirts and your father’s Charleston pants.) The most important part of every Sudanese home is Al ma5zan, which is usually someone’s room converted into a storage for piles of useless stuff that’s been hoarded since the beginning of time. Or it’s the deep freezer in the kitchen with some leftover kamoniyya from 7 Eids ago.

If you are in doubt that hoarding is a major epidemic in Sudan, walk down the streets of Khartoum and look up at balconies: so much useless clutter. Or better yet stand for 10 minutes in front of Khartoum airport carousels, for any incoming flight, and see the amount of hoarded crap that’s constantly being hoarded into the country.

Why is this so disconcerting? Sudan is drowning in karoar and garbage. On top of that we’re suffocating on dust. And last but not least, it’s the hoarding of anything and everything that has recently gotten us bombed by Israel. Therefore, I hold karoar epidemic responsible for the Israeli bombing of the karoar in Yarmouk, Malaria, the loss of several children who had gone missing between piles of karoar, and every plane crash that was attributed to foul play by the government or incompetence of Sudan Airways, where the real reason was probably an overload of karoar, and last but not least, holding on to a government of karoar for so long.

2 Responses to “The Real Reason We Got Bombed By Israel”

  1. rahimaelsawi April 4, 2013 at 8:04 pm #

    So well written,its enjoyably painful to read ;-)

  2. Lam December 25, 2013 at 9:12 am #

    The Sources of South Sudan Problem
    Going back through history could provide us with clear understanding on where the source of problem that lead to Dec 15, 2013 incident in Juba lie. There are several variables of mischiefs if compiled together can be discerned as the leading causes of the crisis our country is facing now. However, to make it short, the major factor that haunts our young nation currently result from incomplete and misguided Transitional Constitution where President was given absolute power to fire or dissolve parliament without parliament approval or vote. As we have witnessed in the past few months, the President was so blinded and so intoxicated with power by starting to ignore his own ‘Constitution’ he blessed. One of my Criminal Law professor back in 2010 told me that “if your country’s Constitution is not written inclusively and democratically, then your country will be in turmoil for many years to come.” Well, it seems true that the source of our problem come from disgruntled Transition Constitution which gives president too much power to do whatever he wants to do in term of running the country. If President Kiir, for example, had not been granted absolute power as was bestowed to him by Constitution, he would not have to fire his cabinet in the first place without parliament approval.
    Another source of our country’s problem can be attributed to the oil especially oil money. There are many actors behind the scene who have different interests regarding how our oil can be exploited and controlled. First, Bashir is number one culprit whose objective is to destabilize South Sudan so that he can prove to the world that Southerners can’t and will not be able to govern themselves. By doing so, he threatens Kiir that he would shut down oil flow to the port/market if Kiir doesn’t concede issues that were not settled or completed between two Sudans. For example, he wants Kiir to stop supporting and abandon the people of Blue Nile, Nuba Mountains and Abyei. Also, he (Bashir) wants Kiir to concede the entire oilfields that lie within the South boundary and recant their claim to the South. Finally, he persuaded Kiir to take in or absorb his agents so that the so called ‘hardliners’ by Khartoum would be removed from the government so that no one will talk about the above mentioned issues. However, these hardliners as Khartoum inferred are those young men back in 80s left their parents and their schools to fight and liberate our country. Even if they (SPLM heroes) are thieves, corrupt as Kiir put it, they are the ones that give us our freedom and they deserve to enjoy their hard fought victory. I know we will come back together and forgive each other once more but I would advise our politicians that they have to make sure that the next Constitution doesn’t give president whoever he or she may be too much power as Kiir has or use to have.

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