2- He Never Listens To You
He’s never there for you when you need him, even though he really has no where to go since Ocampo put him on lock down, so technically, he should have more time for you, but he doesn’t. He has never let you vote on any major or minor decision that affects your future. He has made it clear that your opinion does not matter, and not only that, that he will not tolerate any opinion of yours that conflicts with his.

3- He Hates Your Family
You’ve begged him to get to know your family members better, but he’s been at war with them since the relationship started. Finally, they decided to abandon you and him in a referendum in July 2011. And the zinger? They didn’t even ask you how you felt about it. The whole thing was traumatizing for you but you could swear you heard him mumble ‘fi siteen dahya’

4- He Keeps His Finances Separate
You have been together for over 20 years, however, he still keeps a separate bank account off shore and you are not allowed to even ask about it. He has seen you struggling with your finances, barely making ends meet, yet he refuses to chip in.

5- He Is Physically And Verbally Abusive
At first, you put up with his verbally abusive ways because it was generally directed towards others, sometimes you even felt like he was just trying to protect you. When he told others they are ‘under his shoe’ you questioned yourself but let it go. However, he started being verbally abusive towards you telling to you to lick your elbow and making so many vows (not of the happy matrimony kind) and there’s no stopping his threatening. To add insult to injury, or rather, injury to insult, he is physically abusive towards you whenever you disagree with him.

If your dictator exhibited one or more of the aforementioned signs, it’s time to give him the boot. Find someone who values you. You’re worth it.

Bentley Brown, who has grown up in Chad and worked in Sudan, is the award-winning filmmaker behind Faisal Goes West, or as he is also known as “that khawaja that speaks better Arabic than me.” As an aficionado of independent films and all things Sudan, I was very excited to make a pledge to back the project financially but felt that it’s not enough, so I called up Bentley to see how I can help (Also, I wanted to talk to the khawaja that speaks better Arabic than me, but that’s secondary.)

There are two important points that Bentley clarified: Firstly, this is not just a film about Sudan, this is Sudanese cinema. In large part, the actors, artists, and producers involved in this film are Sudanese. Bentley stressed “Faisal Goes West is Sudanese cinema. Sure, it will be filmed outside of Sudan and away from the grips of the Sudanese government’s chokehold on cinematic expression, but it is a step, nonetheless, Sudanese encouraging one another (and anyone, really) to express themselves through film.” Secondly, this film revolves around the issue of identity, which is a major issue that affects Sudanese people socially and politically. As Bentley put it “in many ways, the story is a global one: family comes to America with high hopes, family hits a wall, family must rebuild in order to survive. Focusing on a coming-of-age character like Faisal offers a beautiful dive into issues of generational clashes, dignity, and identity–this last one is especially important to me, كخواجة متربي في تشاد . It is sad how easily we forget that people are people. Skin color, appearance, language, etc. are merely factors of a humanity that is in a rapid process of mixing and moving. In this sense, the most important issue that Faisal will address is that of identity. What does it mean for Faisal to be Sudanese? To be American? Not to mention the labels society places on him: “African,” “Arab,” “black”…and the list continues.”

Faisal Goes West is an important film, and I am thrilled that someone as talented, well-rounded, and driven as Bentley is leading this production which I am sure will garner international attention and will be, for the first time, a positive representation of Sudanese people in film. In his own words Bentley explains: “Documentaries largely reflect the international community’s interest in Sudan for mere political or feel-good humanitarian reasons–as if Sudan is a constant case study of suffering and people in need, and foreigners can be the ones to help. But I know Sudanese to be different–they are a people extremely diverse in language, background, politics, religion, and one aspect that is rarely conveyed is the sense of communal resilience present across Sudan and the Sudanese diaspora. This is what I want to convey through the characters in the film: a message of persevering, even when hardship catches you by surprise.”

Now that I’ve got you wrapped up in fluffy dreams about seeing a Sudanese film winning in Sundance, I need you to listen up and focus. Faisal Goes West needs your help to become a reality. Bentley is doing his part to bring about positive change for Sudanese people. Here’s what you could do:

- Make a financial pledge here in order to help the project reach its goal. The deadline is November 22nd, 2011.
-Talk about the film with your family, friends, online friends, and imaginary friends–basically everyone. Spread the word!
-Contact Bentley Brown if you have any talents that might be of use to the movie or if you have an important point you would like the movie to cover.
-Change your facebook/twitter profile photo to the movie poster (below) so you can get people asking about the film.

If you don’t do at least one of the above, it might mean Machine Gun Preacher is your favorite movie and you think George Clooney knows everything about ‘the Sudan.’

*Bentley Brown grew up in Ati, Chad, where his parents ran rural medical clinics. You can read more about him here.

UPDATE: The film got fully funded. This is happening. Thank you all for your support.

1- Denial — “Sudan will never separate. The South needs us and we need them.” “They can never run their own country, they have so many tribal issues” “Separation plans are just rumors by outsiders who are trying to destroy Sudan”
This stage sadly lasted from independence, throughout most of the war, until the signing of the CPA agreement when some people’s perception of a unified Sudan was rattled. A pivotal point was the death of John Garang, where the vision of unity for many people died with him.

2- Anger — “Why do they(the South) want to separate from us (the North) they are traitors!” “Why do they think we treat them badly?” “They are destroying our country and being very unpatriotic and selfish.” “Let them go to their country, they were depleting our resources and taking our jobs anyway.”
I believe this stage actually lingered quite a bit for most Sudanese people, ultimately causing feelings of resentment towards the South, which only acted as a catalyst to the South seeing the necessity of indepenendnce, evident by the referendum vote for secession. Anger, bitterness, and feelings of betrayal caused many to look for ways to justify the impending division of Sudan. I have heard everything from African Union conspiracy theories to the usual and necessary ‘blame it on I-I-I-Israel!’

3- Bargaining — “Parliamentary seats? Here South, take these 40 extra seats”; “Power of veto over constitutional changes? You got it!” “Let’s not discuss Abyei right now, it’s going to be alright, we promise”
Some, namely Sudanese politicians, reached this stage months if not years before the referendum, when many were still in denial. They knew what was coming and began utilizing every propaganda tool to make unity appealing for all. Suddenly we began to see more South Sudanese representation on Sudan TV, billboards calling for a United Sudan popped up all over Khartoum, and many promises were made for the improvement of conditions of South Sudanese citizens. However, not all bargaining efforts were necessarily positive or advantageous for South Sudan, as there were some brinkmanship attempts and political pressure. Needless to say, all efforts proved ineffective.

4- Depression — “This is very disheartening, I’m losing my country, my people” “John Garang died and so did a united Sudan”; “I have always loved the South and I am so depressed over losing them”
The silence of many Sudanese might have been interpreted as apathy, but many of them were in fact simply dismayed and severely hurt not only because they are losing Sudan as they know it, but because they felt too helpless and powerless to do anything about it. Many Sudanese people completely disconnected themselves from the issue in order to cope with the grave reality of their beloved country falling apart. (I sincerely hope that no one felt this depression about the economic shock Sudan will endure as a result of $2-$3 billion annual oil revenue losses. Really guys, it’s no big deal. I’m fine without that money. Whatever, no biggie. No really…. who cares? *cries my capitalist self to sleep*)

5- Acceptance “The South deserves a shot an independence.” “I am happy for them and truly wish them the best” “Regardless of my stance on secession, I will support their decision”
This is the last stage of dealing with bereavement. At this point, nothing can be done, we can’t reverse the votes, we can’t change their minds, all we can do is respect their wishes and support them in the development of their new country.

Personally I think I went through the five stages a bit out of order. Whatever stage you’re on, please make sure you strive to reach acceptance by July 9th, 2011, at this stage, I think the best Sudan can do is wish South Sudan all the best and promise not to rain on their independence parade.

1- Borrowed President
Once upon a time the most powerful country in the world was headed (and eventually beheaded) by a ridiculously incompetent president by the name of George W. Bush. After 8 years of embarrassing foreign policies, two wars, and an economic meltdown, the US was fed up. As we all know, the United States is secretly run by a group of expert politicians with a sinister world domination agenda (i.e Illuminati, Jews, and/or Pinky & the Brain) This secret group realized that if citizens see one more president with any resemblance to George Bush, the population will migrate back to Europe and Africa and call it a day. Sensibly, the furthest thing from a George Bush was a black president. Oprah was busy eating, and Jay-Z had better things to do so long story short, the US borrowed a black guy from Africa, gave him a fake McLovin’ Hawaii birth certificate, et voila! Enter the most inspiring president in United States history. And the US lived happily ever after, or at least better than before.
Moral of the story: We should’ve borrowed Mandela.

2- Gentrification
You can’t say the term gentrification these days without starting an intellectual riot with ‘Brooklyn’ and ‘Chicago’ being brought up a thousand times per minute. Whatever side you take in regards to the issue of gentrification, please consider that when dealing with North and South Sudan, nothing has worked at all for over twenty years. The root of the problem is, well, lots of roots, but at least one of those roots is the lack of contact and mixing between North and South Sudanese. Most North Sudanese, myself included, have never been to South Sudan. Most Sudanese can’t even name all states in Sudan. This is an enormous cultural problem that we don’t want to address and we want to jump right into the solution. It’s like insisting a 20 year that has never been educated should be in college and refusing to put him through elementary education first. Similarly, I think unity would not have been realistic had North and South Sudanese cohabitated in their own country. The least we, or our government, could have done was to promote tourism within our own country. Property prices are ever rising in Sudan, what if we could have promoted living in the South? What if the upper echelon of Sudanese society had summer homes in South Sudan and promoted tourism there?
Moral of the story: The country that lives together, stays together.

3- Arab Rehab
Slowly but surely, I can sense the Sudanese population weaning itself off the addiction to ‘Arabness.’ Not only has the Arab vs. African become tiresome and trite, but it has also become irrelevant. I am hearing more and more people denounce such identity definition in lieu of focusing on defining and epitomizing a ‘Sudanese’ identity. This is especially relevant post-secession as we will at least have a more unified intra-Northern culture (this is relative to the vast differences of the larger Sudan of yesteryear.) The further we move away from the confusion of whether or not we are Arab, the closer we become with ourselves simply as…Sudanese. This rehab, had it been done 20-some years ago, might have been an anchoring point in support of unity. Too little too late now!
Moral of the story: Our inferiority complex inferiorized ourselves.

4-Inter-Inter-Marriage
I truly believe that Sudan had no shot at staying united so long as the segregation in marriage of North and South citizens remained socially acceptable by both sides. I am not sure how it is for Southern Sudanese, but as a Northern, I was told from a young age that marriage between Northern and Southern Sudanese is a social taboo. The mere mention of such a thing is near blasphemous. Forget marrying a full-blooded Southern Sudanese, marrying a Northern Sudanese with any Southern roots or Southern ‘blood’ is even considered unfathomable, especially amongst ‘big families’ in Sudan. I can’t continue discussing this point, it makes me sick to my stomach, onto the next one…
Moral of the story: Love em or leave em (literally)

5- Cuisine Change
There is no way Sudan can move forward (or move at all) given the current intake of Sudanese cuisine which consists of pure carbohydrates. I’ve never heard someone say after devouring a plate of kesra bilmula7: “now I feel fully energized to make positive changes.” The only change you can think of after eating Sudanese food is to change from a vertical to a horizontal position immediately. I am convinced that our cuisine, a product of a conspiracy theory by the Brits to put us through reverse evolution, is what is holding us back, and ultimately caused us to lose the South. Alternatively, I recommend that we inject our food with nootropics, and mandate daily Red Bull drips for all citizens of working and voting age.
Moral of the story: I just finished a plate of foul biljibna and lost the ability to conclude this post…

This article brought to you by:

“Not at any time. I’ve never joined any organization—not even the ones I’ve organized myself. I prize my own independence too much. And philosophically, I could never accept any rigid dogma or ideology, whether it’s Christianity or Marxism. One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as ‘that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you’re right.’ If you don’t have that, if you think you’ve got an inside track to absolute truth, you become doctrinaire, humorless and intellectually constipated. The greatest crimes in history have been perpetrated by such religious and political and racial fanatics, from the persecutions of the Inquisition on down to Communist purges and Nazi genocide.”

This quote describes a major aspect of my political, social, and philosophical beliefs. I fully support each individual who embarks on an infinite quest to seek whatever knowledge he/she has the capacity to seek, however, I would stop just shy of seeking an ‘absolute truth’ because such a thing is not accessible to non-deity. I believe those who seek out the ‘absolute truth’ are a) wasting their time and everyone else’s b) pursuing an ultimate truth for reasons and motives that cannot possibly be altruistic. As Alinsky states, if you fully believe you are undoubtedly right, you are therefore a subscriber of dogma or ideology and most definitely susceptible to the crimes of the fundamentalist mind.

In matters of faith, I refuse to label my beliefs beyond saying I am a Muslim. Labeling your ‘faith’ or ‘spirituality’ is in and of itself contradictory. Similarly, I reject any political affiliation or aligning my thoughts fully with an organized political agenda. As a Sudanese, I can feel first-hand the effects of political dogma, tribalism and religious sectarianism tearing apart my country, and I want no part of it.

I truly believe the way for Sudanese youth to move forward is for each of us to insist on being independent intellectuals who have aligned goals and visions for our countries, instead of political agendas that define how you should think, yet lack focus on goals and visions. This is especially relevant with our ever expanding diaspora–our educational backgrounds and upbringings are becoming increasingly varied. Our sub-cultures are even further more different. There are felt cultural differences between Sudanese who have been brought up in Sudan, US, England, GCC, or other regions. Instead of succumbing to more divisiveness, I hope that we would agree to rid ourselves of labels, whether tribal or political, and instead divert our attention to our country as a whole, or whatever is left of it, to ensure it remains whole.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are separeted by date-zones. Yes, that’s right, just like we have different timezones, we also have different date-zones. Now you were not alive back when homeboy who said the world is flat got laughed at, nor perhaps when they put a man on the moon (It happened. they didn’t photoshop it, there was no photoshop back then, duh!) But you are here today, alive and witnessing all that is happening. This is your chance to subscribe to this ‘theory’ early on and become a pioneer of world-affairs theory (look for this major in a college near you soon.)

You see, we are all perfectly acquainted with the variability of time-zones across the world, even children understand it. Yet people seem to think we all live in the exact same date-zone even  though all evidence points to the contrary. What evidence? Allow me to elaborate: It is presumably 2011 worldwide*, yet a woman in Saudi Arabia is jailed by an unjust King because she operated a motor vehicle. Young men across the Arab World are reported missing and enduring M-rated (M for Medieval) torture chambers, even ordered to die because they disagreed with a dictator. There is no way it is 2011 in this region, while it is simultaneously 2011 in say, Canada. No way. Have you seen Gaddafi? He’s got 1600s written all over him.

This concept of date-zones is spanking new, albeit already rationally irrefutable. the only plausible adjustment is that perhaps 2011 is the average year taken from all the different date-zones of the world now. I will investigate this and let you know–where is Einstein when you need him right?

At this point, we can either adjust our calendars, or really prove we all live in 2011 by striving for acceptable universal human rights for all of us. Please don’t be the annoying guy at college lectures and insist that the concept of universality of human rights is ethnocentric, flawed, bla bla bla. No, you either let all women drive in 2011 or you change your calendar. Either way, something’s gotta give.

*Additional scientific proof that it is not 2011 worldwide: Rapture, FGM advocates, some people still use PC/IE, etc…